How to stop being a people pleaser.

As women we are taught to be nice, kind, compassionate, caring, nurturing and all those glossy and sugarcoated traditions.

Women aren’t meant to be noisy, loud or stand out too much, no good man will like you if you are overdoing, if you are over sexy, if you go for what you want. You are bossy and you intimidate men! 

We have been told that powerful women intimidate men our whole life. WAKE UP! We are not here to please anybody but us and that’s the biggest service we can give to the world!

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EXERCISE NUMBER 8: 

Fuck being nice for a day! Do whatever you want! Risk making others angry and don’t care! SAY NO when you mean it!

Saying no and having an attitude is different. Saying no means you are being true to yourself and you are choosing yourself before anybody else. 

Some call it selfish, I call it self love! 

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Learning to say no when it’s hard is when you really win. Saying no means you will piss off people but if you keep on pleasing people you won’t get far. 

This goes to every time we feel something in our stomach telling us not to go one way and we still go that way.

All those times when we know we have let someone else decide our moves we are giving our power away. And later we have the courage to blame others!

Where we are in life is product of the choices we made in the past and if we keep looking back and thinking that we could have done something different instead of using every experience as a steeping stone for our future we are already dead.

I have heard them all, I used to have many of this excuses in me. WHAT IF?

WHAT

IF

YOU 

START 

FACING 

THE 

UGLY

TRUTH 

AND CREATING A LIFE YOU LOVE? NOW! 

Being nice means you will put others before you choose yourself and yes, some of you might be married, with kids, divorced, lost, unemployed…name it…well, there is always a way out…if you are willing to put in the work, know yourself and make the right moves now.

Being nice with others and then faking being nice with ourselves when what we need is a kick in the ass…that’s lame!

Poor me mentality is what has the world being teared apart by those who know how to hunt!

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Do you want to get somewhere? Go out there and make it! 

Do you want to live a life worth watching when you are about to leave this planet? Go out there and go for it! 

FUCK BEING NICE! 

Why are we nice? Because we want others to love us, to approve us, to say: wow you are so nice! So great! So amazing! 

We look for constant approval instead of playing the game, life is playing it on us.

We allow others to decide when and where, how and what.

Without questioning.

Without taking the step back to question ourselves, our actions, our reality, our situation.

Then we go to therapy, we blame our parents, our environment, we blame our bad choices, our mistakes, if in the past I hadn’t done that I wouldn’t be where I am right now!

BS! 

Every journey is different, every single life is different, every person is different, every story has to be different and you are where you are right now, life is pushing your buttons the way it is right now, for you, YES YOU! To act accordingly.

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There are few steps in gaining control over your life and every story is different, this may resonate with some and it may hit others so hard that they will hate it, so be it.

Gaining control over your life is understanding that this game was made for us to become stronger and wiser, standing up challenge after challenge and building a mind muscle to lead our lives with the joy and freedom we deserve. 

Being nice means you are part of the pack, those who are really nice don’t follow the crowd, they do them, they do their thing, they are nice when they want and when they don’t feel like it they are just them, true and authentic, if it hurts someone’s ego they don’t bother, they don’t fight battles that aren’t worth their time, they build their empires and walk their path.

Being nice means you will sacrifice your life for others and there is no bigger disservice than being so nice that you find yourself at 80 years old thinking what the fuck did I do, where did all that time go, where is everybody now? All those big favours that you did? Gone! Under water.

You are nice with yourself, in the mirror, owning your personality, being hard, becoming stronger, and then projecting that energy into the world, that’s how you inspire!

CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES WISELY! 

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This is life, this isn’t a test or a Disney movie. This is the harsh reality and we better step up and own it or remain the same and blame our environment for not being who we dream to be.

THE BIGGEST COMPETITION YOU WILL HAVE TO BATTLE IS LOOKING RIGHT BACK AT YOU IN THE MIRROR EVERY SINGLE DAY! THAT’S YOUR FIGHT! IN YOUR MIND! 

Today’s exercise will be being present, allowing the Universe, our higher selves, to test us. Let people in, let them come to you and when they do be true to yourself and say NO when you mean it.

The first time you do it will feel bad, you will feel guilty, scared of making others angry, scared of their reaction, scared of being told something you won’t be able to deal with, like a kid. GROW UP! This is not kindergarten anymore! You decide, it’s simple! Let those fears freeze you from living the life you deserve or say NO and embrace the feeling of freeing yourself from mental barriers. 

Someone asks you a favour and you are not in the mood? Say no, with a smile, no excuses and no explanations, don’t justify your no. Just say NO and that’s a complete sentence.

If you’d like to find out more about my programmes and how can I help you achieve the success you deserve, if you want to see what’s been holding you back all this time email me to iammissfirestar@gmail.com and let’s talk so that I can give you 30minutes of my time, some advice and a plan to move forward. 

ONLY 5 SPOTS AVAILABLE.  FIRST COME. FIRST SERVED. 

To be continued next Tuesday…;) 

One thought on “How to stop being a people pleaser.

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