If you are waiting for someone to hand you the success you seek you must be delusional.
If you believe that you can have absolutely everything that you can imagine then you are delusional and you are right.
How do you wake up? Embrace the pain because the pain is showing you where you need to take action, be present, get out of your head, switch off the music, leave the phone on the table and go out to the street, yes, right now, and observe, observe people.
We live the majority of our lives in our heads. Get out of your stream of thoughts and observe the reality you are creating.
EXERCISE NUMBER 1
Observe how people move, how they interact or not, their facial expressions, their voices, what are they doing, do they go in couples or alone, how do they dress, where are they heading, the smells, the noises, observe the cars, the street, enter the food stores, check the fridges, check the food, look people in the eye?
Yes, who the fuck cares? Look at that hot guy walking by you, look at that hot girl who is starring at you, hold the glance, eye fuck them, smile. Why you care? Who are they? Are you worried that they might think you are stupid? Who are they anyway, why does their opinion matter?
Why. Do. You. Care? I want you to stop here and observe your thoughts, I want you to laugh at it all and realise that it’s all in your head.
This chapter will be for you to walk up and awaken your true self, determined, positive and full of fire.
Evaluate your life!
Where are you going?
What do you want?
Who are you and who are you becoming?
Are you satisfied?
Are you happy?
Are you proud?
Are you hungry or simply following the sheep pack and climbing up a never-ending ladder?
Are you truly following your heart or trying to fill in a void with new addictions?
Now you will look up and think, who? me?
I am not this person! I am successful, I am powerful, I am doing what I want!
What would happen if you walked out from your work today because you have decided that today you deserve a day off, to walk in the park, put your mind in place and re think your strategy?
What would happen if you decided to move to another country and start all over?
The bills, the mortgage, the flat, what are they going to say, family, friends…bla bla bla…bloody excuses!
You know what?
You know that dream you have in your heart and that you are allowing that little voice to silence? That’s fear wining the battle over love, the love of self.
STOP blaming others!
Today is a day to wake up, to see the world from a different perspective, to get out of your victim mentality and realise that you are where you are because you decided so and you have 2 options: find a way to make your dreams happen or remain where you are and suffer being a mediocre human being, part of the mass, sleep walker, numb and scared.
I will tell you a story: this was a woman who we will call Sunrise. She woke up one day and realised how fool she had been, she wanted love so badly that settled for bread crumbs and allowed herself to believe the lies and beg for attention.
She met a guy during an event and they exchanged numbers, after a couple of months she decided to give him a chance. He was super hot and she didn’t want him to think that she was all over him so she played hard to get.
They went on a date, informal, a small cafe in the city, the conversation went on and on for hours, she thought they had connected. He said he never opened so easy to anyone before and she felt she had made a big impression on him. That handsome man was seating in front of her, leaning on the table, looking into her eyes, he was into her. She couldn’t believe it!
When they left the cafe they held each others waists and walked towards the tube. He said something silly and she knew what would come after, she didn’t know what to do so she just let him do and he kissed her, it wasn’t fireworks and glitter, a simple kiss, she felt dizzy and out of space.
He wanted her to stay but she left, head high, knowing that her pussy wasn’t on sale and she wouldn’t give it so easily, she wanted him to fight for it.
The kiss left her doubtful, was that too fast? Was she too easy? Was that a bad sign? Was he serious? Was he really interested or was he playing?
He texted her, he wanted her to stay longer and she felt in control, he wants me but I will stay in my zone, she thought.
After that, weeks passed by, she wanted to see him and she didn’t care about the game, she was just straight forward, asking him for dates and time, she answered his texts as soon as possible, although he could take hours and sometimes even days to reply.
She was annoyed but tamed that fire and said to herself that that’s how it was supposed to be, he could do whatever and she had to behave and be nice otherwise he would be gone.
At some point she realised she was clinging on too much and sent him a message to cut him off. What she didn’t expect was his answer: he was feeling something for her too and he wanted to enjoy the journey and her company.
She was amazed! He likes me! And agreed to take things slow. They kept texting, until here they don’t actually date or anything, basically exchange thoughts and mainly is her opening up and sharing, asking him for advice, making him feel wanted, chasing him, looking for ways to please him, focusing on how to get to his heart, she even cooked for him one evening, his favourite meal!
Writing about this right now makes me feel sick! For real! How she could be so blind that out of desperation she settled for a man that was only playing chess with her while waiting for a true Queen who to bow down to?
Months went by, she barely knows anything about him, a couple of personal details and few amazing coincidences that make her believe he is a mirror, a soulmate, her saviour, her man, the man she has been waiting for, a potential partner for life. They share values, music taste, their love for freedom and travel, they share even family drama (or that’s what he said!)
At some point she decides that he has waited enough, that the connection is real and it’s time to sleep with him. Almost 6 months later is enough time for her to sleep with a man of his calibre, so attentive, so patient, so lovely and charming, so educated, so handsome and driven. She is the woman capable of taming such a beast, she deserves it and he has won her heart.
She dresses up, takes a train in the freezing night, goes for dinner with him and they sleep together. She thinks he is scared of her, that she is so powerful that he is afraid of falling in love and that’s why he is pushing her away.
All the childhood dramas, fears, shadows and baggage come floating to the surface and she spends almost a week diving deep into her pain, crying her ass out, knowing deep down that she is holding herself back, that she is using him as an excuse not to move and take action towards her goals. She is blaming him while he is out there winning and making his moves, even maybe with more than one woman, she is nothing but a dot and she feels her heart shatter. She writes to him long emails, pouring her heart out, she realises that yes, he treated her well, but you can’t build a relationship via text messages and neither can you know a person if you are not able to see them.
She wanted to believe so badly in true love and fairy tales that every small detail was received as an offering from a god. With the heart full of sweet rendition.
She knew deep down something was really wrong, she knew deep down that she was using him as a distraction from her true path, she knew she had something to learn but she couldn’t let go so easily from that loving shoulder where she had been crying and trusting all this months.
She had to find the courage to face her fears and realise that she was actually doing something wrong and she had to change in order to evolve otherwise the situation would keep repeating over and over again.
She had to commit and make a decision, grow or remain the same. Admitting that she was scared was the first step out, admitting that she might be wrong and be open and wiling to learn something new was what brought to her the people and books she needed for her evolution and then she woke. She could see all her past steps, her past life, her past actions, her past self, zombie walking, asleep, ignorant and full of fears, in automatic, walking through life guided by the mind, confused, lacking confidence and with a massive ego.
She had to admit what she truly wanted and for that to happen she had to shatter her false image and acknowledge that she wasn’t perfect, to start the journey towards feeling whole and confident again.
Sunrise had been putting the blame on others, in this case men: they are only after sex, that’s what they want and once they get it they run, there are no real men out there! (how many can relate to this statement? What if I told you that’s BS?)
The truth is that she was scared of messing up again.
Because it’s easier to blame others than to step out of the confort zone and face the truth.
She was just another mediocre human who waits for someone to come and rescue her because she is weak to go out there and learn how the world can shift once she expands her mind.
Fear of true commitment, fear of abandonment, fear of death, fear of feeling vulnerable, fear of her heart being broken again, fear of missing a chance, fear of not being enough, fear of being too much, fear of asking for too much, fear of being too hard to get, fear of being too difficult, fear.
Sunrise woke the moment she realised that he was a part of her placed in her path to call her attention and make her react, to wake her up to the harsh reality of life and to teach her a lesson through pain.
IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP AND GROW UP! No more blaming others for our circumstances!
IT’S TIME TO TAKE RESPONSABILITY FOR OUR LIVES!
To be continued next Tuesday…:)